Sisters wedding was ace... in fact it was awesome! I had major reservations about this but after a bit of a discussion with mum and Astra I decided I would go. My expectations was that this was going to be a media circus as TV channels usually make a spectical out of these things. Now I havent seen the show so cant say I knew what to expect but have seen dont tell the bride which is funny but also I would really not like to be in that show! John Mc Crirrock and Pete Burns actually did a good job... in fact to the extent I may have cried a few times during the day. We arrived at a large hotel/priory on the outskirts of Doncaster in Blythe, it was a beautiful sunny Thursday. I took my mum, Dad and Noah over. Sarah had left earlier as she was a bridesmaid. It was a bit of a ropey start for me as I had left a few things in London as the day before I was in meetings all day so didnt escape till late and didnt arrive in Doncaster till almost midnight the day before. I stayed at mum and dads but realised the next morning that I had left my belt and a shirt at home so a quick trip to Meadowhall was required. The venue was great, we waited for a while with lots of film crew till people started arriving. The presence of the crew was not too intrusive. They were a nice bunch of people... in fact a few of them were pretty hot! I certainly would have! After a bit of a false start in the seating arrangement Anthony eventually arrived and stood waiting for his beautiful bride to arrive. Astra arrived not long after, she looked great, I was so proud to be her brother. I was looking after Noah as obviously his mum was a bridesmaid. He was a little knight in shining armour - it was one of those days I would remember for ever - the day I could play Dad to my little star. Throughout the ceremony he was great. Astra and Anthony wrote their own vows and during this part where they were exchanging I got a little on the emotional side, ok I was trying to keep the stiff upper lip but may have shed a tear or two. I was keeping Noah quiet with promises of ice cream and syrup... unfortunately he got a little too excited at this prospect and during the exchanging of vows blurted out that he wanted chocolate bits as well - I was a little embarrassed but the guests thought it was funny. The drink reception afterwards and photo session was good. I kept my eye on Noah and also mixed with various people who were there. Its the only time these days we all get together as a family... weddings and funerals... but we all have our own lives and work hard so this is really no real surprise - and an even more momentous occasion that the two sides of our family were also together - aunts and uncles from both mum and dads family. We had a lovely meal and the only thing that spoilt it a bit was Noah decided he did not like beans so instead threw them on uncle Dale... which reminds me I need to get my suite dry cleaned for the next wedding! Me, Sarah and Noah were all staying at the hotel so I ventured out to find the rooms when the meal had done. It was a beautiful place and we had an apartment although we were all sharing a double bed... It didnt matter as me and Sarah used to share beds lots as kids and as im gay its less of a problem. In the evening we had a theme of a arabian wedding. With arabian belly dancer who also brought her own snake. Now Astra does not really do reptiles so this was funny she ran away and had to be convinced to come back and join the party. This was followed by a private performance of "you spin me right round" by Pete. I did actually get the oppertunity to meet Pete and his boyfriend who actually turned out to be lovely guys. I think behind the facade of celebrity these are just normal people. Although it was a bit weird that they decided not to join us for the meal. I kinda would have expected them to break bread with us.. its the done thing - yet they did hide behind security and guards... not really sure they are that famous but hey! During the first dance I really could not hold my own... as the dance floor was cleared and Astra and Anthony took to the floor they spoke about there love for each other. I supress my emotions as best as I can as I wear my heart on my sleeve but on this occasion I could not contain myself and could feel the tears of both happiness that they had found each other and sadness that I was still alone. I took a step back from the front of the stage to hide my emotions a little more.. after all I am supposed to be the strong one. I just wish I could have shared the moment with someone I loved who is special to me - but love doesnt grow on trees. Towards the night before we got to the meal (which was hot dogs and burgers!) Noah started to get bad with his chest. We had to go back to the hotel and get a nebuliser to try and stop his asthma getting worse. I was by this point at the tipping point of another beer and I would have been drunk - which I was not sure about considering my state of mind as to whether I was happy or sad... I couldnt make up my mind. Noah kept hugging uncle Dales leg and needed lots of attention as he was tired and still having difficulty with his chest. I decided at this point to do the responsible thing and not get drunk. Instead I was the parent and looked after my little man - the only guy in my life who is dependable and needs me. So at 9pm I had a quick sandwich and took Noah to bed. Leaving everyone to be entertained by a lovely girl from some program who was an excellent singer! It was a great day and one I will remember for ever. Noah had a rough night that evening and uncle Dale had to wake up on many occassions to give him his nebbuliser, in fact at one point I was considering taking him to hospital. He was a brave little boy and uncle Dale was panicking. The next day I had to wag work a little and take him to doctors to make sure he was ok. Now a little break is due in a few weeks... when I head to San Fran. I need the break and maybe it will help me clear my head a little. I do appear to be over stressed at the moment and its not related to work - more my inability to have and hold freindships and relationships. But this is something I am working on now more than ever! Lets see what the future holds!