For the first time ever I went out for the afternoon/evening with my parents on the town. Now some of you out there may have the opinion that you dont go out drinking with your parents, and others may be thinking why havent I done this sooner. Well to answer those in both camps, I dont see a reason why I cant go out and have a beer with my parents, after all they are people and nice people at that. And the reason I aint done it in the past is I was firmly in the camp that parents are not people you can socialise with! Anyway... we decided to go out for the afternoon around Doncaster. I wasnt sure how the night was going to turn out but went there without any preconceptions. We caught the bus to Doncaster (something I havent done in years). After mum decided that she wanted to go into a few shops I started to get somewhat agetated (as usual, I aint very good at being dragged around shops, neither is my dad). I decided after about half an hour of this that enough was enough and we were not going in any more shops and instead would go to weatherspoons. Two magners irish ciders later I was feeling a bit more relaxed. I then decided we were going to Walkabout for a few more beers. We didnt talk about anything more than normal stuff until we had drank much more and were in the "Goose". Here I talked openly about my sexuality and how I found it hard growing up because I thought dad would have difficulty with me. We talked about how mum had more of the problem but she now feels she is overcoming this. Dad was suprised to here some of the things mum had said to me many years earlier. They admitted they didnt know whether I was gay or just intelligent. So instead kind of ignored it. Dad did say that he feels that a couple of my cousins exhibit gay manerisms and he feels they may be gay. I was comforted that he asked me to talk to them and re-assure them. We went to another weatherspoons in the market, this was much more cosy and nice. Sat around a round bar table on stools I told my dad some of the home truths that I had discovered as part of my "sessions" with my councellor. The main one being that I was embarrased by him, and that him not having a job I found hard to comprehend. He defended this telling me if it wasnt for people like him working in the pits then we would not have electricity in the 80's. I think he still feels bitter that he doesnt have a job not because he wanted to give up his carreer in the mining industry but he was forced to when he was made redundant. I got the impression that he blames society for this. There is not a lot I can do to change this view, my view has changed as I have learnt the reasons behind why we do not have a mining industry and feel strongly that whilst it would have been good to preserve the industry and the communities the government could not allow the country to collapse under the cost strain of paying the NUM to get miners to do their jobs, when there were much cheaper alternatives. The only annoyance is that the government have swayed on this over the years and not allows the FBU and Postal Unions to hold them over a barrell. Mum told me that the reason she worked constantly as I grew up was that she never wanted me or my sisters to have dinner tokens. Mum did have dinner tokens when she was at school and found it very embarrasing. Her father passed away when she was young and my nan brought her and her three brothers up on her own. Mum still misses her dad lots and this was apparent when the Luther Van Dross "Dance with you father" came on in the pub and she came close to tears. This was the night of the anniversary of her dads death and my nan and uncles had gone to a mass in his memory but mum and dad had decided that a night out with their son was more important. I do love my mum and dad lots. Nothing will detract from this. And they are both extremely proud of me and this shone through throughout the evening. My dad telling his freinds that I live in London and have a great job. Its humbelling that he has these views and such pride. The evening gave me oppertunity to get to know my dad better. I dont really know much about my dad and his upbringing... in fact I know nothing.. he has never told me anything. Whilst in the pub I did get a glimpse of this upbringing and it seems he had a much harder time than I could have imagined. Mum met dad through my auty, apparently Bev smoked and so mum used to hang around with her and Geoff. Through these two she met a shy young guy, my dad. Dad lived in the same village they still live in. Him and his nine siblings. Unfortunately Mark the youngest was killed by a milk float on the street when he was young. He is buried with my nanan and grandad in our village. Dad was tearful when recounting his past, it seems that whilst I thought I had a difficult upbringing this was nothing compared to his. The road where they lived was notourious for violence such that the police decided to give it a local police officer just for this street and this explains why a police house is in this street (I never really realised!). My dads mum always tried to give the children everything they needed to grow up such as clothes, food. But sometimes this wasnt always available so she borrowed money to be able to buy these. Grandad worked many hours and knew nothing of the money worries. Eventually they got into so much debt they were evicted from the street. Grandad tried to take control of the finances but as he was working lots this was not always possible. Debt collectors used to come to the door and they hid in cupboards to avoid them (im not sure but I think I vaguely remember when my nanan and grandad lived in the flats). Nanan and Grandad did not have lots but what they had they gave to their kids, and did right until they died. They were great people and I wish one day I could be half the man my grandad was. I think dad still finds it hard talking about his dad, even after 17 years.